Thanks to then-U.S. Rep. Denise Majette following the advice of the voices in her head and running an ill-advised campaign for the U.S. Senate in 2004 (and abdicating her House seat), my current U.S. Rep. advocates for my interests by punching security officers in the face and proposing bills to archive Tupac Shakur’s documents. Stellar. I think Ms. Majette’s whole political career has been an elaborate object lesson meant to demonstrate that God doesn’t really care about U.S. elections. If she wins the schools superintendent race she recently entered, maybe she’ll integrate intelligent design into the curriculum just to prove that it makes kids dumber.