My office complex had its yearly free “appreciation” meal laid out for us today, which consisted of a pretty decent Varsity Jr. spread. The poor drunken heathen in me loves that the $8 I would of spent on lunch today can instead be applied to a pitcher of beer at a later date, but I fear the havoc the hamburger, chili dog, and fries will wreak on my digestive system. And there’s an apple pie sitting on my desk I’m afraid to eat.






Wow, you are being “appreciated” after only two days on the job! Sweet! Way to work yourself in at an opportune time.
We had free Blimpie for lunch. Not a memorable meal by any stretch of the imagination, but hey, free always makes it taste better.
Geez what were you going to spend $8 on for lunch?
It’s the city. Shit’s expensive down here.
Ha… you need to start a new category on your blog: “Country boy in the city”!
I kid, I kid…
Oh and that reminds me, I should write a post about that coked-up fuckstick from yesterday, screaming bloody murder at the poor girl waiting to turn into my apartment complex. Four words: CALM THE FUCK DOWN!
Why don’t you have a Gravatar yet Patrick?
I joke weeth you.
But seriously, Rusty, you have a problem that needs solving. And I have just such the solution.
My I announce my latest
get rich quick schemeinvention:Beer Flavored Milkshake©.
After watching way too much Red Dwarf the other night, I decided I am going to devote the rest of my working days to developing the best tasting beer-flavored milkshake this side of the Mason-Dixon.
Seriously, you would so go for that, wouldn’t you?
Beer? Flavored Milkshake?
I feel my Megalomania Meter© rising at an alarming rate!
Its like I found Jesus! I mean like actually found him. I’m rich!
Seriously, I cannot even fathom eating at Varisty. I have heard that it is like forbidden fruit: so good, until it runs right through you.
But hey, if it is free, I cannot say that I would turn it down, and I don’t even eat meat!
Mmmm. Varsity. I love it and I hate it. Best thing is to eat a couple of chili cheese dogs and then try to make it through a long, boring afternoon meeting while your intestines bulge and writhe like the chest of that guy in Alien just before the monster pops out.
That chili dog was gooooood yesterday. The burger, not so much.