I‘ve been fucking this girl the past few weeks, and let me tell you what, it’s a lot better than masturbating. I was on a pretty serious post-college losing streak, so she’s been the outlet for a lot of pent-up frustration. I’ve already broken skin twice. Once was from smacking her ass too hard while I was doing her doggy-style a few nights ago, and the other was from a bad rug burn she got when we were fucking on her living room rug missionary. I’ve got matching rugburns on my knees. The latter occurred this past Tuesday. I ended up cleaning a blood stain off the rug from that one while she watched the season finale of her favorite show. Ain’t I a nice fucking guy? Also this past Tuesday.
- Pinning her down to the bed while waling on her and making disparraging remarks like, “Can’t you do better than that, princess?” when she struggled to get out of my grip and couldn’t
- Bending her over the bathroom counter so we could watch our fornication in the mirror
- Making her laugh while she was cumming for the third time by saying, “I wonder if the two-backed beast had a rug burn” … she later complained she couldn’t feel the orgasm because of that
- Leaving the blinds open so the neighbors could watch
More fun was a little over a week ago when we figured out tennis shoes gave me more traction on the rug. See, the first night we tried it where she was laying down on the bed and I was standing up on the floor, but my feet kept slipping on the rug so we scrapped that. Asics solved the problem later.
My first impression of her as a feminist was she’d be a boring lay… not really into dick, wanting me to clean the carpet all the time, etc etc etc. But, obviously, those conceptions turned out to be wrong.
She’s into the aggro. Biting… scratching… clawing… biting… hair-pulling… all the fun shit… and she loves to suck the dick. Lest you think I’m selfish, I don’t mind cleaning the carpet either.
To do:
Highway blowjobPublic placeFix her fucking headboard… it makes too much noiseTie her upTie me up
The beauty of all this is ground rules were laid out beforehand. It’s a friends-with-benefits situation. HIGHLY recommended. Hell, she’s even been paying for the condoms.
Post college losing streak?
I’m still in my post high school losing streak.
I knew there had to be a better reason for the light blogging of late than simply, “WAAAAH! I have a job now!”
That is, if you’re telling the truth.
The only parts she disputed after reading this last night were that I broke skin the first time and that she didn’t feel the orgasm when I made her laugh. I distinctly remember both, but memory is a hazy thing sometimes. She also said she would have preferred I’d chosen words other than “outlet,” “cumming” (preferring “coming”), and “fornication.” I was pretty drunk when I wrote it, so I wasn’t thinking too hard about the language. I maintain that “cumming” was the right word there, even if it does sound sort of Penthouse Letters-ish.
Ok, the linguist in me can’t keep quiet…
My personal usage is that “come” is a verb while “cum” is a noun. (Not counting the Latin conjunction, of course.) However, we should draw conclusions from more authoritative sources…
The Online Etymological Dictionary tells us:
Furthermore, the word from the almighty OED can be found here (circumventing their lame pay subscription requirement).
As an aside, lest anyone use it as an argument for the same point I am arguing, we should not draw too much significance from the fact that the modern word “come” derives from Old English cuman, as orthography is not an indication of phonetic construction, especially when taking into account the Great Vowel Shift of the Middle English period.
For some reason, use of the word “Coming” when talking about orgasm annoys me. I much prefer “Cumming.” It just sounds right
I wish we had conversations like this at Blog for Democracy, but of course BfD is the more conservative of the liberal blogs in Georgia.
Try stuffing a pillow behind the headboard to keep it from banging against the wall.
Bravo Rusty…keep making me proud boy. lol
Here’s what the redoubtable OED has to say —
17. To experience sexual orgasm. Also with off. slang.
a1650 Walking in Meadow Green in Bp. Percy’s Loose Songs (1868) Then off he came, & blusht for shame soe soone that he had endit. 1714 Cabinet of Love, Just as we came, I cried, ‘I faint! I die!’ c1888-94 My Secret Life III. 143 ‘Shove on,’ said she, ‘I was just coming.’ 1922 JOYCE Ulysses 489 Suppose you..came too quick with your best girl. Ibid. 752 Yet I never came properly till I was what 22. 1928 D. H. LAWRENCE Lady Chatt. x. 159 ‘We came off together that time,’ he said. Ibid. xiv. 242 And when I’d come and really finished, then she’d start on her own account. 1963 D. LESSING Man & Two Women 35 Just as he decided, Right, it’s enough, now I shall have her properly; she made him come. 1969 P. ROTH Portnoy’s Complaint 183 Did you warn her you were going to shoot, or did you just come off and let her worry?
I’m glad “to die” is no longer used as a synonym
I’m with Joseph on this one. Fuck the OED!
Ha! Nice use of fuck.
Now when you say “Fuck the OED”, do you mean literally or figuratively, because I wouldn’t mind seeing someone trying to fuck a book, which would bring a whole new meaning to “hitting the books”
Good one rusty. You found a woman who likes the smell of wiskey and smoke.
I wasn’t recommending anything by putting the OED definition there. I just thought the history was amusing.
I’ve seen come and cum used as both nouns and verbs, and find any argument about an “official” usage to be moot. Here’s how I determine a distinction. The sentence…
…could have a variety of meanings. It could be used to say you’re approaching a destination right at that very moment, or to say you will attend an event in the future. It can also mean you’re unloading your sack on a hooker’s face. Whereas the sentence…
…can ONLY be used to refer to an orgasm.
I choose to use the word where there’s zero ambiguity about the meaning I’m trying to communicate.
No Comment
It can also mean you’re unloading your sack on a hooker’s face.
That’s a very interesting example..
Quote of the day, I think.
Regardless, it seems your life has improved dramatically over the past six months. That’s good.
tisk,tisk, tisk…such a naughty boy, you are….
see, you could do a post about that bully councilman in Alpharetta and get maybe 1 or 2 comments, but do a post about the Big Nasty and you get 18 in less than a day.
What a country!
Just think how many comments he would’ve gotten if he was banging one of the Bush twins.
I think that just means all is still right with the world.
And when I see “Big Nasty,” it just makes me think of the McDonald’s Big & Tasty, which my friends refer to as the Big & Nasty.