Welcome to the first installment of Wingnuts Who Don’t Deserve Publicity, a segment where I will ridicule not only the wingnuts who are undeservedly lavished with publicity simply for saying something stupid and/or vitriolic, but also the alarmist liberal bloggers and mainstream media hacks who take the bait and unwittingly advance the wingnuts’ inane moral crusades and baseless attacks. Before you mention it, I’m completely aware of the irony involved in setting up a segment with the sole purpose of offering more publicity to people who I don’t think deserve it.

Today’s Wingnut

Today’s wingnut is the American Decency Association, whose spokesman says the group wants retailers to ban the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition from store shelves.

My friend Steve Ensley called me to tell me that the cover girl of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit was featured in his local newspaper. The paper said local girl makes good.

This, in part, is what makes me so saddened and indignant over the legitimization of SI Swimsuit. Showing your body, titillating men of various ages - producing lust - this is NOT a local girl making good.

I call the SI Swimsuit magazine a slut magazine because the girls are prostituting themselves. I am staunchly opposing any idea that any girl who would pose semi-nude in such lust producing ways is doing good. This is a huge point as the sex industry, sex entrepreneurs of various varieties, corporate America is paying big bucks to women to titillate and propagate the lie [from the pit of Hell] that this is “local girl making good.”

The relevant part of this mentality are the rigid, unsustainable boundaries these people create for themselves (see Amber’s unfinished multi-part review of Every Young Man’s Battle for a hilarious take). They’re like crash dieters who eat nothing but lettuce and granola bars for months on end. A few sustain the pace, the rest eventually go on an unhealthy binge. In all cases, they spend most of their time riddled with unnecessary guilt. People have natural instincts to eat and screw. Trying to totally suppress those is an exercise in futility.

Unwitting Tools of the Right Wing

Earlier this week in the Washington Post (login), USA Next CEO Charlie Jarvis all but burst into laughter when describing the success he had utilizing his opposition’s outrage in circulating his message. USA Next was the group who published a $1,500 anti-AARP ad which claimed the organization supports gay marriage and opposes “supporting our troops,” a phrase I’ve come to loathe (see the ad here). A gay couple’s photo was allegedly used illegally in the ad. The couple retained a lawyer, who wrote a letter to the group asking for an apology for using their photo without permission in an ad for a cause they don’t support. Jarvis replied…

“They ought to be suing all the left-wing blogs for circulating this [ad]. That’s who they ought to be asking for an apology.”

He just told you how he got his word out for next to zero investment, dummies! You think Jarvis gives a shit if his logic is flawed? Logic means nothing. Press coverage means everything.

In a similar vein, these blogs have propagated a story that serves no other purpose than to feed red meat to the sex-hating moral-policing civil obstructionists, and also has the practical effect of boosting sales for the SI Swimsuit Issue. Congratulations! You’re a tool for the right wing spin machine and, as an added bonus, are giving SI free marketing!

Here are excerpts from the relevant results of my Technorati search, listed in the order they appeared to me:

Steve Gilliard - “I guess we should all stick to fucking Sunday School girls instead. Fuck this wingnut asshole. I hate these freaks. They usually wind up being into diaper play or some such shit. If SI is a danger to his sexual control, teenage girls must make him go batshit with lust. They’ve been after SI for a while with this crap/ It is still their largest selling issue of the year.”

Right Side Down - “These radical conservatives - who no doubt went for Bush by a 99 to 1 ratio….he is the new Messiah after all - are pretty scary. I’m guessing, deep down, they probably think the idea of women in bee-hive suits isn’t such a bad idea.”

Life in Bush’s America - “If you asked me, ‘What is the single greatest threat to this Nation?’ I would quickly answer you, ‘Evangelical Christians.’ In an ongoing effort to ignore there own sins while pointing out yours, they are urging shop keeps to remove the ‘disguised pornography’ right there in the Wal-Mart.”

AMERICAblog - “The road to fascism and theocracy does not involve announcing that ‘tomorrow we shall become a one-party state and those who disagree will be put to death.’ It arrives, with all apologies to Carl Sandburg, like the fog, on little cat feet.”

Knobboy - “Peril and certain doom are sure to follow!!”

Pam’s House Blend - “Is the moon full? The Religious Right is unleashing a spewing geyser of stupidity today.”

BradBlog - “I’m normally amused by the antics of American Decency Association, best known for their fervent campaigns against Victoria’s Secret window displays. … But now they’re going after Sports Illustrated’s Annual Swimsuit Issue, and dammit, that’s just un-American.”

The Biggest Tool of Them All

Radical Georgia Moderate - “The relevant part of this mentality are the rigid, unsustainable boundaries these people create for themselves … They’re like crash dieters who eat nothing but lettuce and granola bars for months on end. A few sustain the pace, the rest eventually go on an unhealthy binge. In all cases, they spend most of their time riddled with unnecessary guilt. People have natural instincts to eat and screw. Trying to totally suppress those is an exercise in futility.”